Mommy Mom

Michael and I got married two months after the Center for Ethical Leadership closed. The Center was my "work baby" for five years. I envisioned it, designed it, developed it, grew it, and then witnessed its sudden death. I felt heartbroken, disillusioned, angry and shocked. At mid-career and mid-life I began the scary, and often painful, process of reinventing myself. However, there were some blessings in this unwanted transitions. First, I had just received tenure, so my job was secure. Plus, being back in the classroom full time meant I could secretly disengage until I sorted out what I wanted to do next. I also had an amazing new life partner who listened, advised, held me as I cried, and basically supported me throughout the heartache. What has emerged after 8 months of reflection, prayer, and forgiveness is a reinvention I could never have imagined. While they were in elementary school, my beautiful kids and I often made fun of women we jokingly nicknamed "Mommy Moms". These were the cookie-baking, PTA-active, picture-taking, scrapbook-making, homeroom mothers who volunteered for every school committee and chaperoned every school event. Although I admired these women I often wondered if their life was fulfilling. I couldn't imagine a life without working outside the home or one devoted to working only inside the home. It's funny how God works and how life throws you curve balls. What I have experienced the last 8 months has been amazing to me... and to my family. My favorite read now is not the latest business book on leadership, but the latest edition of Southern Living. My favorite hobby is no longer debating colleagues about the merits of a new curriculum but cooking. I have had the best time decorating my new home, experimenting in the kitchen, and even sewing curtains. Last week, Eva made it all official when she told me I have turned into a "Mommy Mom." What? Because I brought her breakfast in bed complete with a small vase of flowers? Because I run to the mailbox the day Southern Living is expected? Because I now talk more about ribbons, frames, and flowers than business, leadership and management? Because I made a cake and decorated it to look like Easter eggs hidden in grass? Surprisingly, this new life is fulfilling, it is fun, and I am VERY happy! I work hard at CBU, but I now find more fulfillment than ever before from my husband, my children, entertaining, and decorating. Who would have thought it? Who is this new Bev? Was she there all along but didn't have the luxury of being her true self because of work and single parent responsibilities and pressure? Is this a new part of me that Michael brings out? Is this a mid-life crisis? Will it last or is it just a phase? Who knows? All I know is I'm happy, I'm fulfilled and my family LOVES being an official Southern Living taste-tester!